An Open Letter to Jillian Michaels

Dear Jillian,

It was 2008 when I first invited you into my home. I was an innocent, naive 28-year-old who was dabbling in getting healthy. I think it was for the sole purpose of fitting in a bridesmaid dress. So, you know, really lofty goals there.

I purchased the 30 Day Shred DVD and hid in the basement from my roommates to do the first workout. And that was the night I learned you are a sadist. In the first 5 minutes I had to take a break and drink some water. Then you said the words that made me want to throw something across the room.

“Okay, now that our warm-up is done…’

Warm up? That was just the warm up?

Shut your mouth, Jillian Michaels. Shut it right now.

I remember that two days after that work-out I found myself crying in the shower because I couldn’t lift my arms to wash my hair. I had to crawl up the stairs on all fours like some deranged labrador.

MjAxMy1mZWY2YzFhYzVjODhjZWM0Needless to say I didn’t make it for 30 days. And the only thing shredded was the cheese I put on the plate of nachos I ate in defeat.

You may wonder, Jillian, why I invited you back a year ago. Why did I decide to grunt and sweat through your kettle bell workout, at one point taking a chunk out of my wall with a wildly swung weight. And what possessed me to do your yoga workout, cursing as I did a tree pose that was more like a sapling in the middle of a hurricane?

But then, one day, I finished a workout. Without stopping. It wasn’t always pretty, but I did it. I would have pumped my fist in the air in triumph but I was too busy lying on the floor trying not to die.

You see, Jillian, I decided you weren’t the enemy I had once believed you were. Yes, I still think you’re a sadist. And I’m pretty sure if you and I ever shared a meal together you would eat kale and I would eat…not kale. But I give you props, Jillian, for challenging someone like me to move and change and grow. To stop making excuses and start making changes.

However. I do not agree with your sentiment that “pain is weakness leaving the body.” It is actually agony entering the body. But that’s what ibuprofen is for.

Sincerely,

Brandy

 

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14 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Jillian Michaels

  1. Katherine says:

    I have a love-hate relationship with Jillian. I think she’s really good at what she does (which may or may not be attempting to kill me). I have all the respect for her for speaking out and quitting Biggest Loser over the unhealthy extreme weight loss that wins.

    Great post. Thank you!

  2. Ric says:

    Thanks for making me laugh this morning! I just finished my first workout of the year after a 2 week “vacation” and my trainer certainly made up for those two weeks. Being a sadist must be a requirement for personal trainers.

  3. Kathryn says:

    I loved this Brandy! I am on my way to healthy eating and exercising each day myself! I’m glad I’m not the only one to throw a weight across the room and loathe yoga! Maybe it’s in the genes lol! You are an inspiration to me as a writer and your new look! I hope to look as good as you this time next year!

  4. Aveleen says:

    This was amazing. I had a similar experience with the Nike workouts. Oh, how easy they made it look! But there was nothing to tell me I’d be laying on the floor for a half hour afterward because all my oxygen abandoned my limbs to try and save my vital organs. I feel your pain, friend. 😉

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